back in college, i was this girl who often say cruel things bout things. unfortunately it came to a point where it became my hobby, my source of happiness, my time-waster but never my fulfillment i stopped being that girl when i met my boyfriend Aldo who is a hardcore good guy with a very genuine soul and maybe because i matured at the same time. i told myself i’ll stop badmouthing others and i realized it was never good for a young woman to act like that. well, i can’t say i’ve been the bestest good girl now coz my mind always react furiously whenever i saw irritating elements on my Facebook feeds! teehee.
aaand, now im 24! and it seems God is testing me once again!
im going thru this stuff lately. i’ve been hating someone quite long now. he is my friend, well not a friend like super close we can text all day long and meet up just to hang out. he’s my friend because..i always help him? pushing myself to understand all his breakdowns and attitude. making myself blind just to REACH him. Okay yeah, he’s a guy. a guy with TOOONNNSSSSSS of insecurities. a dude with a bagful of issues and lowest self-esteem. lower than my grandparents’ grave. YES.
He was born from this province. Had his school finished there and now working here in Manila for three years i think. He’s is 4 years my senior. Tall, dark skinned with curly kinky hair. You can actually state from the first sight he’s from the province and i never mind it coz when i was college, im already opened and got immune with their types and they were always been so kind.but…
he’s not. i mean, he always make himself out of place making other people think we are bad. he got this attitude where he can do whatever he wants to do to us (joking around, bullying etc) but you can’t do all those stuff back to him. Heck right? When we do, there! He’ll start being hard on himself. AND be very narrow-minded.
I once told him or taught him to be sensitive with how he delivers his words, how to be this and that. Explains to him that we never wanted to make him out of the group, that jokes are just jokes. Btw, he love doing this “tablahan” type of jokes? Whenever we decide to make him taste his own medicine (because some of his are really rude!), that’s when he start to feel cold. labo di ba? And he got this Probinsyano Syndrome like out of thin air, he’ll just blurt out ”sa probinsya ganito! gnyan!..” “ang yayabang niyo, sa probinsya di ganyan..” “ayoko talaga dito e..lahat pera pera..sa probinsya hindi..” WTFFF.
so now i don’t know where to stand. am i going to be patient with someone who never understands the word CHANGE and ADAPTATION and who always sees the bad on every suggestions and brutally honest truth about him OR just give-up with all his insecurities and let him grow up on his own way (that will take too loooong coz he never been a FAN of the term ADAPT btw)?
why am i writing this? wala lang. bawal kasi siya sabihan e. sabi niya (chos!) HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! of course, this problem affects me somehow. madali lang naman hindi mamamansin e. kaso sobrang hirap magpigil ng pagka bwiset :p